In a major Olympic shock, it was revealed overnight that many of the 11,000 athletes descending upon London this week will exchange bodily fluids, and not just with drug testers.
The reports that people with hot, fit young bodies will be sexually attracted to others of their ilk were an astonishing revelation.
Except that they weren’t. Every Olympiad, as the Games near, the same old stories get trotted out with the predictability of London drizzle. And it’s not just boom boom in the athletes’ rooms. It’s also…
Athletes eat a lot
Who’d a thunk that people who train hard eat a lot? Or that fat athletes in sports like weightlifting and hammer-throwing sit in the corner of the athletes’ dining room with a bucket and a funnel? Not us.
Saudi Arabia is sexist
They’ve never sent a woman to the Games until the IOC threatened to kick them out. This year, the Saudis are sending a female 800m runner and a lady judoka (practitioner of judo). There remains the sniff of tokenism but it’s better than the stench of sexism.
This poor person has no shoes
It’s been going on since Abebe Bikila, the Ethiopian who won the 1960 marathon in no shoes. This year, two unsubsidised members of India’s walking team can’t afford footwear. A nice person sent running shoes. Nice try at philanthropy, but way to get them disqualified.
They’re giving WHO the flag???
This year’s flag flack centres around Caster Semenya, the South African woman who was forced to undergo gender tests after showing high levels of testosterone. Some thought double amputee Oscar Pistorious would be chosen. SA’s Olympic chief said he ducked that choice to avoid controversy. He has quite the sense of humour.
Predictable outfit outcry
The American team has been under fire for wearing outfits made in China. Hang on, isn’t everything made in China these days? The bigger issue is why the US outfits are so preppy they make the athletes look like extras in The OC.
The clueless bus driver
Right on cue last week, a bus driver who was not a native Londoner took a group of Australian sailors on an impromptu magical mystery tour of London. You’d think he would’ve been well-schooled on the trip from Heathrow to the Athletes’ Village, but no.
Gee, those American basketballers are awesome
Every year, the US basketball team is compared by to the Original 1992 “Dream Team”. Someone asked 1992 veteran Larry Bird this week how his lot would have fared against the current mob. “Well, I haven’t played in 20 years” he drily responded. That was his way of saying he’d have kicked Kobe Bryant’s ass.
Carnal condom-miniums
As mentioned above, there are always pre-Games stories about the impending rootfest. Then in the second week of the Games, you always read about the poor athlete competing on the final weekend who can’t sleep for all the swimmers screaming and groaning all night. And you thought you had problems with the barking dog over the back fence.
Let the games begin. Please. We can’t stand these countdown stories much longer…
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