Every now and again a film comes along that defies your expectations, raises the bar for all film-makers working in the genre, and leaves you feeling much much better than when you went in.  When that happens you feel blessed; films that hit the mark like that come along so rarely they deserve your respect, your money and, dare I say it, your love.

I am an unashamed fan of disaster movies; they capture the essence of what is important about humanity and remind us that we people are one with nature and not apart from nature.  The first genuine disaster movie was Deluge, made in 1933 in which a paper model of NYC, and most especially the Statue of Liberty, is destroyed by a tsunami (Roland Emmerich referenced this in The Day After Tomorrow). Like all such films to follow it concerned the struggle of a good, honest working man, trying to protect his loved ones in the face of almost insurmountable odds.

Disaster films tend to introduce a new kind of special effect to the audience.  The Poseidon Adventure gave us the first realistic depiction of a capsised boat (though if you watch the capsising scene frame-by-frame you can actually see the actors pulling the table-cloths off the tables as they run past them).  The Towering Inferno was the first to show fire in reasonable proportion to the building (watch old episodes of The Thunderbirds  to see the opposite of this, where flames and water give away the scale of the models to humourous affect.)  Earthquake in 1974 introduced Sensurround to the jaded masses and The Swarm in 1978 (I saw it with my Mum) gave us some pretty convincing bee-clouds.

The 80s saw an almost complete time-out on disaster flicks.  Audiences, jaded by one too many Airport films flocked to the spoof Flying High! (as we knew it here in Oz, or Airplane! as the rest of the world knew it).  While the world was distracted by Hypercolour t-shirts, the boffins at places like Industrial Light and Magic and Silicon Graphics were busy inventing the next great leap in disaster movie technology; CGI.  In 1996 Twister tore screens apart and layered some stunning CGI storm effects on top of Helen Hunt and an unfortunately dreadful script. 

Later that same year Independence Day  (which I don’t actually count as a real disaster movie as it’s man vs aliens, not man vs nature) showed us just what blowing up the White House could look like.  Enter Roland Emmerich, genius.  That same year Tim Burton gave us Mars Attacks! which, being based on a Pinball game of the same name, was more of a spoof than a genuine disaster movie.  Disaster movies are not meant to be hilarious, they are meant to make you sit on the edge of your seat and, every now and again cry out “Holy Shit!” while reflecting on your own humanity.

By the end of the 90s the Disaster flick was back.  Dante’s Peak and Volcano went head to head in 1997 with CGI lava.  The jury is out as to whether James Cameron’s Titanic is a disaster film, (it’s actually a chick flick) but if you can count the Poseidon Adventure then Titanic has to count.  And that scene where the boat breaks in half is some of the best 45 seconds of cinema ever, or was anyway.  In 1998 Bruce Willis and Robert Duval both died to save us all in Armageddon and Deep Impact  (two word review - Deep Shit), both essentially remakes of the 1979 film Meteor

These films should have been able to cash in on the general end-of-the-millennium madness that was predicted and I am shocked that no-one made a Y2K film in retrospect.  But the events of 11 September 2001 were so much like a disaster movie in real life that Hollywood spurned the disaster movie for comic book heroes instead.

It took the teutonic genius of Roland Emmerich to get skin back in the game with his Climate Change themed The Day After Tomorrow [].  Here for the first time we see Emmerich mastering the art he had been practicing for so long.  All of the significant disaster tropes are there in spades but Emmerich peppers it with genuine insight, political nuances and a clear sense of humour.

But all of these films were just practice runs for 2012 .  This movie not only combines every single disaster movie trope into 200+ minutes of the most eye-bugging special effects ever seen on a screen (and a mere 50 minutes of soap), he also manages to throw in a wink and a nod to every other disaster movie ever made.  It out earthquakes Earthquake, towers over the Towering Inferno, makes the volcanoes in Dante’s peak look like some much potassium permanganate on fire in a grade 8 chemistry class. Its massive waves, gushing over Mount Everest, put The Perfect Storm into a teacup.  His capsising cruise liner is gone in seconds. 

By crushing the White House with the USS John F Kennedy, Emmerich shows just how far one’s tongue can enter one’s cheek.  It even gives a nod to such classics as The Cassandra Crossing, albeit for less than a second of screen time. It revels in its “Hollywood science”, makes reference to almost every conspiracy theory ever named, (this is a film than demands freeze frames so you can see the book titles, background movie posters, etc etc) and keeps the “son I always loved you but now we are all going to die” melodrama to an absolute minimum, cutting short the traditional boring reunion scenes. 

This is disater porn at its best; almost all money shot.  And for once the trailer doesn’t give away the most dramatic scenes in the film either.  As a disaster movie this is simply the best there has ever been, and possibly the best there ever will be.

But 2012 is more than that.  Roland Emmerich not only references all of the other disaster movies, he takes the whole format and twists it, wrings out the dross and presents to us the ultimate in humanist dramas.  All disaster movies are essentialy atheistic.  They are about people, nature and people coping and surviving as nature shows herself to be all powerful.  Emmerich takes huge delight in ramming this point home again and again by first mentioning in passing the Taliban’s wanton destruction of Afghanistan’s giant Buddha statues, and then going on to destroy many of the Christian world’s most significant icons. 

(He cut the scene destroying the Kaaba in Mecca. “Well, I wanted to do that, I have to admit,” Emmerich says. “But my co-writer Harald said I will not have a fatwa on my head because of a movie. And he was right. ... We have to all ... in the Western world ... think about this. You can actually ... let ... Christian symbols fall apart, but if you would do this with [an] Arab symbol, you would have ... a fatwa, and that sounds a little bit like what the state of this world is. So it’s just something which I kind of didn’t [think] was [an] important element, anyway, in the film, so I kind of left it out.” - SciFi Wire)

Anyone in the film who resorts to prayer gets killed, usually immediately.  The tearing apart of the Sistine Chapel roof (the crack groes right between the touching fingers, severing Adam from his god), the collapsing of the giant Jesus in Rio De Janeiro and the crushing of the faithful in St Peters Square all drive home Emmerich’s point.  In a time of crisis people need to rely on themselves and their inherent decency, not on superstition and blind faith.  In 2012 the Mayans were right, the Gods are dead, and humanity is saved by its own human nature.

2012 is spectacular, but politically and socialy nuanced like no other disaster movie before it.  But most of all it’s tremendous fun and deserves to be seen on the biggest screen you can find.

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17 comments

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    • Wayne Hutchins says:

      05:35am | 20/11/09

      Looks awesome! Can’t wait to see what Really happens Dec of 2012.

    • Dave Sag says:

      07:18am | 20/11/09

      Sorry to disappoint you Wayne but 2012 is not a documentary.  See NASA’s FAQ on the topic.  http://tr.im/2o12

      The planet’s do not really align, and the resetting of a calendar, even the Mayan’s long-time clock doesn’t really imply the end of the world, just the end of the calendar.

    • Peter Collinson says:

      08:49am | 20/11/09

      Spolier alert for Wayne…absolutely nothing will happen.

    • Zeta says:

      09:10am | 20/11/09

      2012 was the worst film I’ve seen all year. John Cusack was basically asleep, playing the same character from High Fidelity and Grosse Point Blank, proving that no matter what interesting situation you throw at him, he’ll nod off faster than Fran Bailey at NATO. There was a sub-plot about Huggies Pull-Up nappies. WTF.

      Woody Harrelson was wasted, Danny Glover? Was his President supposed to have Parkinsons or did he just stumble around the set drunk a lot? Ridiculous Russian-boss sub-plot was ridiculous. Everyone in this film should have been ashamed of themselves. I had no sympathy for anyone who died. In fact, I thought every one deserved to die by the end of the film, and prayed that the Mayan death god, Ah Puch, The Destroyer, would lift himself out of the ground and slaughter the survivors.

      What about that hilarious plot hole, where you base the film around a Mayan prophecy, and then, oh, never mention that again. It’s actually some sun beams or some shit. Don’t want to make the film too preachy or anything.

      I cheered when Los Angeles was sucked into the ocean, I cheered and thought of Bill Hicks, from the Arizona Bay album, ‘Goodbye Lizard Scum!’ - I mean, when New York gets inevitably destroyed, or London, or Paris, we can all hold hands and think of the great things those cities gave us. I for one, cannot think of anything good the city of Los Angeles has given the world that could not have been done elsewhere without the insipid influence of consumer culture. I wanted a montage of water smashing into Britney Spears home. I wanted to see people crushed by their SUVs while holding tiny little dogs, in fact, tiny little dogs going mad and killing their owners would also have been fine. I wanted to see Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer in one last homoerotic embrace before being impaled by flying palm trees. Paris Hilton weeping while her condo slips into lava. The cast of The Real World holding hands and praying as the W from the Holywod sign crushes them into peroxide flavored pulp. No hope. No salvation. The Earth’s angry magma punishing the living.  Ah Puch’s skull face leering above the globe while William S. Burroughs laughs and says “When I become Death, Death is the seed from which I grow” and everyone dies. The end.

      I wanted the final moments of the film to show the new primordial soup, of the last highly evolved being on Earth, David Bowie, crawling onto a pristine beach, his boundless, Godlike perfection having saved him from the Apocalyse, he’d then seek out a bunker and find Keira Knightly and Scarlet Johanson, alive, and together they’d resurect the human race, and the new mankind’s creation myths would all be told in lyrics from Ziggy Stardust.

      I didn’t get that. So the film was shit for me.

    • W says:

      09:56am | 20/11/09

      Are you for real Wayne?

    • Margaret Gray says:

      10:43am | 20/11/09

      Two hours and forty-five minutes of the same scene being played over and over again was just too much…although the dialogue quality reflects much of what passes for teen conversation these days.

      “...going on to destroy many of the Christian world’s most significant icons….He cut the scene destroying the Kaaba in Mecca…”

      Yet another scared and gutless wonder.

      What is Emmerich afraid of?

      No problems taking the hard line with the low hanging fruit though.

      And (yawn) is that ANOTHER black movie president?

    • Dave Sag says:

      11:35am | 20/11/09

      Zeta did you write that, or dream it?

    • wolf says:

      12:04pm | 20/11/09

      I’d rather see Zeta’s film - surely there is some sort of Government grant available to make it happen?

    • Andreas says:

      12:39pm | 20/11/09

      Am I the only one who really hates disaster movies?

      Why is it enjoyable to sit and watch graphic illustrations of mass suffering and chaos?

      People always respond by saying it is not real and just fictional. Well of course its not real. That doesn’t really address my key gripe at all.

      Each to their own, etc, but I just don’t get how to enjoy watching these things.

    • Chade says:

      01:31pm | 20/11/09

      Except no, it doesn’t. It fails in the acting, dialogue and plot devices department - pretty much everything apart from the graphics and the symbolism.

      Really, wot Zeta sed.

    • Zeta says:

      01:32pm | 20/11/09

      @ David Sag - Shorty after I wrote it, it was absorbed into the global dream consciousness, David Bowie awoke on the other side of the world, quickly cashed out his remaining Bowie-Bonds, and is no doubt in the process of building some kind of giant magnet with which to pull the Moon out of orbit to send Los Angeles crashing into the sea so that he can take his rightful place as our highly evolved progenitor. Dreams are reality and vice versa. The real 2012 Apocalypse is a personal one, not the Holywood-dolby-crunching-cacophony -  it’s the naked lunch man, when we see what’s really on the end of every fork. Expand your pineal gland. Our future is in the stars.

      @ wolf - There will be no Government grant forthcoming, sadly. Using my notorious pull within the Federal Government, I was able to secure a retainer to start production on a direct competitor to Baz Luhrmann’s Australia as great Australian epic; my vision, influenced by Alejandro Jodorowsky and the ambient sound scapes of Danni Minogue, was a re-telling of The King in Yellow, casts Australia as distant, terrible Carcosa, and then alien-eyed teen modelette Gemma Ward as Hastur, The Nameless One, The Whisperer in the Darkness, whose Yellow Sign would drive the world mad and raise ancient cities from the Tasman ocean. The continent’s only hope would rest on the Yolngu people, in Arnhem Land, who have kept the ancient evils at bay for millenia.

      Due to political machinations beyond my control the production was stalled, and later restarted to be filmed as ‘Stone Bros.’ in a mangling of my original, perfect vision. It would later be discovered that I’d spent the pre-production money on a clandestine trip to the United States, where I’d removed a branch from the tree planted atop Lee Harvey Oswald’s grave, and stood outside CIA Headquarters, Langley, poking passers by in a chaotic ritual intended to bring the true perpetrators of the JFK assassination to light. It caused a major international incident, long story short, I can’t send spec scripts to the ABC any more on fear of death.

    • Sam says:

      03:10pm | 20/11/09

      Apocolyptic? 2012 was catastrphic. A travesty of the genre and never worthy includsion in an article invoking films like The Day After Tomorrw, Volcano, Deep Impact or ID4.

      I would have preferred that the earth had have openned up benieth me but insead I sat through that 2.5 hours of intelectual purgatory.

      What a stinker.

    • Heléna says:

      09:27pm | 20/11/09

      ***spoilers ahead***

      I thought it was enjoyable to watch Woody Harrelson play Woody Harrelson, and loved the scene of his demise and to see John Cusak again for old times sake - I’m not sure about the script hard to tell through all that z grade acting, though the American ark captain was hilarious! (I don’t think he was meant to be ;p) surely with the budget for 2012 more time could have been invested in the direction and quality of acting - or maybe they just needed to cast Will Smith wink

      I thought the movie had a great twist in the arks - I love end of days movies so was thrilled to be watching 2012 - loved the effects and in parts even found myself thinking it was too much to watch disaster scenes where it was obvious no one, would survive - I was moved by the overriding message of “humanity”

    • stephen says:

      10:29pm | 20/11/09

      Yeah sure. Now that you’ve given the film 11 out of 10, it’ll be 2012 before I’ll get into the cinemas to see it.

    • Shaun says:

      03:18am | 21/11/09

      Having to endure this movie was worse than any actual doomsday scenario that might strike our planet. Terrible movie, seemed to over-borrow references from other films (tom cruise war of the worlds), special effects were average, storyline towards the end seemed a bit ridiculous. I wouldn’t recommend it.

      Oh and by the way, nothing will happen in 2012, just like nothing happened in 2000, or 1666, etc.

    • Dave Sag says:

      07:02am | 21/11/09

      @Sam Deep Impact!  Are you serious?  That film was the most boring disaster movie ever.  Nothing happened in that film for like an hour, and then nothing spectacular happened.  It wasn’t until the comet actually hit the earth about 75% way through the film that the GCI team got the chance to roll out one pretty impressive wave, and yes the taking out of NCY was not bad, but it was 45 seconds of footage in an otherwise tedious bore.  Also the layering of Jewish mysticism in that film made it predictable and tiresome.  It was obvious just by the names of the characters who would die and who would live and, what’s more that Robery Duval would have to die, messiah like, to save humanity.  A true disaster movie kills of stars and extras alike without fear or favour.  And a true disaster movie has a decent budget.  The budget for Deep Impact was so low that, during the mass panic evacuation “lookout the wave is coming, everyone get in your cars and flee” scene, the local council clearly failed to supply permission for people to drive on the verges.  Watch it again and you’ll see all those cars stay on the road.  What a joke.  I almost walked out of Deep Impact (for the record the only film I have actually walked out on was Arthur 2, On the Rocks).

      I enjoyed Day after Tomorrow (of course, I founded Carbon Planet [http://www.carbonplant.com] so I would enjoy that) but the wolves were a distraction I thought.  Dante’s Peak was much much better than Volcano and Independence Day started out great but finished terribly - one boring 20 minute tractor-beam scene too many - and, as I said in my article, is not a genuine disaster movie as it’s people vs aliens, not people’s struggle with nature.

      @zeta You need funding now. Or perhaps just cite yourself as the worthy successor to Robert Anton Wilson and get writing.

      @andreas I can’t speak for everyone but I know why I like disaster movies.  They provide a kind of nihilist spectacle that’s shallow enough to be able to be processed safely by your brain without triggering post-traumatic shock, while at the same time establishing humanity as a part of overwhelming nature.  Typically human hubris is the true villain in these sorts of films so they function as humanist morality tales. Oh, and like show rides they give a cheap thrill.  But I agree they are not everyone’s cup of tea.  But no-one’s forcing you to see them.

      BTW, did anyone see last night’s South Park?  A very funny rip on 2012 there I thought.

 

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