Michael Carroll, UK binman, won $15 million and blew it all in eight years on drugs, cars and women. He’s now scraping by as a tradie.

Money can't buy you love, but it can buy you a lot of hot chicks.

His is a sad tale, and reading it made me think sanctimonious thoughts about how we need to support people through such drastic life changes, particularly those with vulnerabilities like alcoholism.

But mostly I just thought: Shit yeah! I’d love to squander stacks of cash in one big disgusting binge. I’d like to roll around naked in piles of dirty, stinking cash, bathe in French champagne, live a rockstar lifestyle.

I’d buy an island and fly all my mates in for a debauched party. I’d rock out like it was 1984 and have a doctor on hand to make me feel better in the morning.

I’d line the dam with pure white sand and set up a little cocktail bar with someone on permanent mojito duty.

I’d have a maid.

I’d get a private plane stocked to the rafters with every kind of vice and go to all the world’s music festivals.

OK, so the first thing I’d do is give a slab of it to charity - to ease my conscience, you see.

But then I’d buy a McMansion on the foreshore and christen it by paying my favourite bands to come around and throw their guitars through the windows.

You hear anecdotes of people setting up nightclubs and giving away free booze until they’re bankrupt, alone and lonely. 

A mate told me a story of a father and son who won millions, and all they wanted was to sit in bed, watch DVDs, and scoff KFC.

The dad died of a heart attack.

Poor old Michael – whose most awesome achievement was setting up a demolition derby behind his house – is now broke, on probation, and has to attend an alcohol program.

Ah, feck. Maybe a bit of balance is required here.

With $15 million you could probably set yourself up to live a cushy life on interest and dividends. You could start a scholarship program for former Lotto millionaires. You could invest in real estate, and help your friends and family.

And you could still have enough left over so that once a year, maybe for a couple of weeks, you can saturate yourself in sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

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25 comments

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    • SM says:

      01:08pm | 25/02/11

      I remember seeing him interviewed when he set up his demolition derby track - his neighours had complained about the noise and he was telling the interviewer “stuff them, I’ll do what I like”

      no noise problems now

    • Matt says:

      01:19pm | 25/02/11

      Awaits Zeta’s response to blowing 15 Mil…

    • The Friday afternoon swill says:

      01:29pm | 25/02/11

      the guys was a known alcaholic - support him alright!!! he needed AA

      and whats with AA?

      you stand up there and say ” hi, i am John Smith and an alcaholic” ......whats so annonomous about that???

    • Markus says:

      02:35pm | 25/02/11

      And what’s the deal with airline food?? :D

    • Erick says:

      01:37pm | 25/02/11

      “With $15 million you could probably set yourself up to live a cushy life on interest and dividends.”

      Meh, you could do that with $1 million, or less, if you were smart.

      Some people are just stupid. I can’t say I feel sorry for someone in that position.

    • Chris L says:

      01:52pm | 25/02/11

      Tory, if we all put in to give you a big pile of cash to “roll around naked in” would you take pictures for us?

    • Jade says:

      02:06pm | 25/02/11

      Silly people squander that much money and have nothing to show for it.  The first thing I would do would be to buy a house (in cash), new cars (one for me, partner and the weekend car… preferable a HK Monaro) and new furniture.  A house for my Mum and Nanna and a holiday for all our families and then sit on the rest! Maybe make a donation to the RSPCA along the way as well! smile aah its nice to dream

    • Coggernaught says:

      02:26pm | 25/02/11

      I’d take Tory Shepherd out on a date.

    • hot tub political machine says:

      02:28pm | 25/02/11

      I once bought a second hand car for $6000 cash. I regret that I never went home and took photos of me rolling around in it prior to the purchase. Add some whiz fizz and eyeliner…..it would make a great rockstar shot

    • Colette says:

      02:37pm | 25/02/11

      Demolition derby.  Wow.  I hope he’s happy!  I have to say that I’m pretty happy with my life at the moment, really.  I could use maybe $1-$2m of it to buy a ROOLY NOICE house but that’s it?

    • Markus says:

      03:02pm | 25/02/11

      Even enough to buy a 4 bedroom suburban house outright (say about $500,000) would insanely improve a standard of living.
      It means not having to pay that amount back at least two-fold (assuming a very optimistic 20yrs at 5% p.a), and leaves you with an extra million dollars over that same period smile

    • Dave-o says:

      03:27pm | 25/02/11

      “I’d buy an island and fly all my mates in for a debauched party. I’d rock out like it was 1984 and have a doctor on hand to make me feel better in the morning.”

      Saline drip and oxygen tank. Works every time.

    • AW says:

      03:35pm | 25/02/11

      My husband and I bought tix in a $50M lottery draw once, then sat down and convinced ourselves we were going to win, so planned every penny. Investment properties, gold, charities, family, high interest accounts…

      Then I was so upset when we didn’t win, I haven’t bought a ticket since! How can someone so DUMB get SO LUCKY?!?!

    • mary says:

      03:48pm | 25/02/11

      That’s nearly 2 million he blew each year, around $35000/week or 5000/day. Mmm how to spend 5000/day ..

    • Diamantina Dick says:

      04:25pm | 25/02/11

      Reminds me of George Best when once asked what happened to all his money. It went along the lines of “I spent it on fast cars, women and booze, the rest of it I just squandered”.

      Each to his own I suppose…

    • Sad Sad Reality says:

      04:47pm | 25/02/11

      The reasons why most people don’t have $15 Mil is illustrated above. The rich got rich by knowing how to stay rich (save the second and third gen scumbags spending grandaddy’s oil billions). Money that isn’t making money is dead.

      That said, if someone gave me $15 Mil tomorrow, I’d take the first plane to Brazil, pick up a few models with that perpetually annoyed expression, cruise through to Bolivia to collect a briefcase of Charlie Sheen’s pleasure and then hire the most ridiculous super yacht I can find to engage in some Caligula-like debauchery on the high seas. Then, when condom 15,000,000 is washing up on a beach in Cuba, I’d book myself a nice shallow grave in the land of car-size burgers, point the boat toward the keys and ingest half the snow Lindsay Lohan sprinkles over her Corn Flakes when she’s on a break. I’m assuming the models will either be dead by this point (that much blow and spear fishing gear is only going to lead to trouble) or alternatively find some promo work at the Greater Miami Boat Show. Life lived.

    • Horald says:

      04:54pm | 25/02/11

      You had me up until the point you mentioned give money to charity to appease your conscience. I dion’t have a conscience so I wouldn’t bother doing that. Plus, I know life isn’t fair so I’d keep it all to myself.

      $15m really isn’t that much. It’s nice but there are a lot of hiouses in Sydney that would chew through that prety quickly and they are in the best areas with the best views. Then you need money left over to invest. Your returns are usually about 10% on capital so then entire $15m will only return $1.5m each year before taxes. That’s really not the flash lifestyle you’re envisaging.

      Essentially, you’d get a small taste of the good life but at least you wouldn’t have to work if you were smart enough.

    • Goldenfaber says:

      07:45pm | 25/02/11

      I have been a pub person since my late twenties and you would be surprised how some people (single men) blow windfalls.
      I knew a bloke who received a $65000 pay out for his back around 1990 and blew it all in just over three weeks on gambling and hookers. Another whose work payout for a similar amount went in months on gambling.
      But most astonishing i know two blokes who blew their inheritance (one who inherited a lot of property in Ireland) gambling in months.
      I just hope i never have any more friends who do this as it really is sad to see them such a short time later struggling financially in life… Yes i have friends who seem to get a lot of enjoyment from gambling and have gambling problems but they seem to lose all sense of proportion when they suddenly have a lot of money.
      Luckily i do not gamble ( and i am too old to party) so i would probably die wealthy if i scooped the pools. It would be divine to be able to give up work and concentrate on my hobbies though.
      I will never understand other people in this world.

    • Huey says:

      08:15pm | 25/02/11

      Saw him on telly..arrogant piss-wreck. $30 million would have killed him. He had a ball. now he’s not.

    • Marauding Bear says:

      08:23pm | 25/02/11

      If you’re smart you’d say nothing to anyone.

    • Louisa says:

      08:46pm | 25/02/11

      My husband and I have thought about it and given that we have sufficient for our needs we would set up a foundation. Probably a foundation for domestic animals and their needs.

      Shrouds have no pockets

    • NESLIHAN KUROSAWA says:

      12:22am | 26/02/11

      Hi Tory,

      Such a waste, really!! All that money should be spent on sex, drugs and rock & roll.  I would rather to do something useful instead!!  Like something which would benefit our community.  Where I come we have this saying which goes something like “rich people`s money gives the rest of the population something to talk about”!!

      For me personally, it goes more like “the money earnt without any effort and struggle has no meaning at all”.  There has to be a sense of achievement and accomplishment in everything we do for ourselves, in our private as well as public lives!!  However, a little bit of gossip never does any harm to anyone, right??  Best regards to your editors.

    • S.L says:

      07:51am | 26/02/11

      I know many with 7 figure bank accounts and with few exceptions are all as tight as fishes backides! One person I know’s wife inherited theirs. They had no idea, it was the long lost relo scenario!  Real strugglers they were too. When they got the cash she told him to “buy himself a new car”. Being a petrol head he headed to Willian street in Sydney. He just couldn’t believe all the Rollers, Bentleys, Mercs and Ferraris he was looking at he could buy. In the end he couldn’t bring himself to do it and bought a new top of the range family car. They live off the interest now and only work to get out of the house…......

    • mmr27Feb2011 says:

      02:03pm | 27/02/11

      Liberal voters are lost when it comes to money.

    • OCHOAEricka says:

      08:39am | 02/05/11

      I had a dream to start my own firm, but I didn’t have got enough of money to do this. Thank God my mate told to use the personal loans. Thence I took the car loan and realized my old dream.

 

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