$15 million buys a lot of sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll
Michael Carroll, UK binman, won $15 million and blew it all in eight years on drugs, cars and women. He’s now scraping by as a tradie.
His is a sad tale, and reading it made me think sanctimonious thoughts about how we need to support people through such drastic life changes, particularly those with vulnerabilities like alcoholism.
But mostly I just thought: Shit yeah! I’d love to squander stacks of cash in one big disgusting binge. I’d like to roll around naked in piles of dirty, stinking cash, bathe in French champagne, live a rockstar lifestyle.
I’d buy an island and fly all my mates in for a debauched party. I’d rock out like it was 1984 and have a doctor on hand to make me feel better in the morning.
I’d line the dam with pure white sand and set up a little cocktail bar with someone on permanent mojito duty.
I’d have a maid.
I’d get a private plane stocked to the rafters with every kind of vice and go to all the world’s music festivals.
OK, so the first thing I’d do is give a slab of it to charity - to ease my conscience, you see.
But then I’d buy a McMansion on the foreshore and christen it by paying my favourite bands to come around and throw their guitars through the windows.
You hear anecdotes of people setting up nightclubs and giving away free booze until they’re bankrupt, alone and lonely.
A mate told me a story of a father and son who won millions, and all they wanted was to sit in bed, watch DVDs, and scoff KFC.
The dad died of a heart attack.
Poor old Michael – whose most awesome achievement was setting up a demolition derby behind his house – is now broke, on probation, and has to attend an alcohol program.
Ah, feck. Maybe a bit of balance is required here.
With $15 million you could probably set yourself up to live a cushy life on interest and dividends. You could start a scholarship program for former Lotto millionaires. You could invest in real estate, and help your friends and family.
And you could still have enough left over so that once a year, maybe for a couple of weeks, you can saturate yourself in sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
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