Phew. We made it through summer. The AFL and NRL seasons are upon us again. Last year, we got all religious with our 10 commandments of footy tipping. This year, we’re sexing things up a little.
What, you think we’re kidding? You think we don’t actually believe that football season is better than sex? Read on… and feel free to tell us why we’re wrong, or to add your reasons to the list.
Also, at the risk of breaking our own rule of going easy on the Caps Lock button, DON’T FORGET PUNCH TIPPING. The AFL code is 892748. Join up here. The NRL code is 173047. Join up here. On to the list then…
12 reasons why football season is better than sex
1. You can indulge in your passion eight times a weekend. Even you horny Gen Ys would struggle to match that.
2. You can do it with as many partners as you like and the worst you’ll catch is a common cold. Well, unless your partner is a Collingwood fan.
3. You can yell embarrassing things really loudly and the neighbours won’t think you’re weird.
4. You can have a pie and a beer while you’re doing it.
5. A day or night at the footy is much cheaper than flowers and chocolate. Have you priced a bunch of roses lately?
6. It is not considered dirty or kinky to watch the football without participating.
7. In football, no one cares who comes second. Though we concede, there are of still those who’d suggest that applies in matters of love too.
8. You are guaranteed 80 minutes of action in the NRL, or 100 minutes if you’re an AFL fan. You trigger-happy Gen Y man boys couldn’t last half that long.
9. You can read about the football in the paper the next day. You can’t do that with your sexual exploits. Unless of course you’re a St Kilda player.
10. Footy tipping is all part of the experience, whereas tipping a lover is hardly considered good etiquette, unless you’re in a neighbourhood where red lights grace the doorways.
11. It’s fine to go to sleep immediately after the footy. Or go to the pub. Or do whatever you like, really. The point is, tender cuddling after the crescendo is not necessary. Unless your team just lost the grand final.
12. Oh, what’s the bloody difference between sex and football anyway when Bruce McAvaney is commentating?
Did we mention those Punch tipping codes? The AFL is 892748. Join up at http://supertipping.heraldsun.com.au/. The NRL code is 173047. Join up at http://nrltipping.dailytelegraph.com.au/. Happy football season!
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