10 new demands from the three independents
This afternoon The Punch has obtained a new list of demands from the three men that hold the nation’s government in their hands:
Dear Ms Gillard and Mr Abbott,
We three independents, Rob Oakeshott, Bob Katter and Tony Windsor, who are now officially acting on behalf of every Australian voter have been impressed with the progress made in negotiations to form a Government thus far, but have decided our initial seven point plan was lacking some flair. In that spirit we demand the following in for the sake of Australian democracy:
1. Bob Katter wants a new pony and a lone ranger outfit
2. We all want new mini bikes, Pee Wee 64’s preferably, with matching personalised leather jackets and stitching on the back reading: “The Cross Bench Cowboys”
3. A complete set of HE MAN figurines and castle of Grey Skull or, if unable to obtain such figures, Star Wars figures in snow gear from The Empire Strikes Back, plus an AT-AT (we know these are available cause I just made a bid on E-bay for the set)
4. Oakeshott demands a spot on Dancing with the Stars, preferably paired with that Aussie girl who came third in Miss Universe.
5. Tickets to Wicked for everyone and their families or, if unavailable, Mamma Mia but has to be night show - no matinees!
6. Guest spot on the view sitting next to Whoopi Goldberg.
7. Tony Windsor wants to meet the spunky cast of the Twilight series, but they have to be in character. He means it. Any non-vampire like behaviour from any of the cast will be frowned upon.
8. They all want to be able to wear the outfit Michael Jackson was buried in.
9. Hovercrafts instead of com cars
10. Instead of sitting days for parliament we all get together and do Zumba and dance our asses off to sort out our problems.
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